Doug the Curmudgeon

Doug the Curmudgeon

Smug Doug Curmudgeon[1] went trudgin’ along

Grumblin’ a grumpy, curmudgeonly song:

The song Doug would grumble was mumbly, and bugged

The abrupt-to-judge public, who deducted[2] Doug wrong.

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[1] A “curmudgeon” is either a pigeon covered in mud, or a grumpy old cuss that despises little children. The professor has forgotten which. Now get off his lawn and stop making so much noise!

[2] The locals were so quick to judge Doug, that they did not differentiate between “deduce”—which means to figure out logically by use of a pipe, a garishly large and comic tweed hat, a longsuffering sidekick, and bandy legs—and “deduct”—which means to take away from, something your math teacher has been attempting to explain to you for years, . . .