Doug the Curmudgeon
Smug Doug Curmudgeon went trudgin’ along
Grumblin’ a grumpy, curmudgeonly song:
The song Doug would grumble was mumbly, and bugged
The abrupt-to-judge public, who deducted Doug wrong.
. . . . . . . . . . .
 A “curmudgeon” is either a pigeon covered in mud, or a grumpy old cuss that despises little children. The professor has forgotten which. Now get off his lawn and stop making so much noise!
 The locals were so quick to judge Doug, that they did not differentiate between “deduce”—which means to figure out logically by use of a pipe, a garishly large and comic tweed hat, a longsuffering sidekick, and bandy legs—and “deduct”—which means to take away from, something your math teacher has been attempting to explain to you for years, . . .